Dear Parys:
I normally don’t like to air my problems out to people, but I’m currently caught in a difficult position that needs the utmost attention. My name is Bri (Not my real name) and I’m a Junior here at Alcorn. I’m doing well academically and my social life is great now. My problem is my home life. My mom is a single mother of two (me and my sister Joi) and she has sacrificed a lot for the two of us. Joi is 15-years-old and at that rebellious stage in her life. She’s smoking, drinking, staying out late and sometimes not even coming home. A few weeks ago, my mom told me she walked into her room and found Joi and a young man engaged in some adult activity. My mom is at her wit’s end. We have frequent conversations normally with her crying and venting to me about how bad Joi is. She always compares the two of us and tells me that I never acted like that, which I didn’t. In a recent conversation my mom stated that Joi didn’t act like that when I was there and that she’d like for me to drop out of school and move back home to help her with my sister because she doesn’t want her to end up in jail or worse. While I love my mom and my sister, I have established myself here. I’ve made lifelong friends and will be graduating soon. My mom calls me every day attempting to guilt me into returning home. I mean I want to graduate but I also believe in helping my family in their time of need. What should I do Parys? Should I go home and help my mom with Joi or should I tell her that it’s her child and her responsibility to handle her problem, not mine? PLEASE HELP!
Joi Is Not A Joy
Dear Joi Is Not A Joy:
Bri, I don’t think you should drop out of school. This is your life and your future, and you’ve worked hard to get where you are. Your mom is struggling, but it’s unfair for her to expect you to give up your education to handle Joi.
You should still help your mom by talking to Joi and letting her know you care about her. She may be acting out because she wants attention or is dealing with something deeper. Your mom could also look into counseling, military school, or a Summer program that gives Joi more structure.
I would tell your mom that you love her and want to help, but you cannot give up your future to fix your sister’s problems. You can support your family without dropping out of school. I hope this helps.
Love and Kisses,
Parys
